Intention

About a year ago my cousin Anna wrote a blog about her one word for 2011. You can check that blog out here. I didn't follow suit last year, but I did realize that I have a word I want to live out in 2012. That word is INTENTION.

Have you ever wondered “How did I get here?” Have you ever stopped, looked around and thought “How did this house get so messy?” or looked in the mirror only to see 30 extra pounds and wondered “Where did this come from?” I have. I have gone through most of my life mindlessly. Eating mindlessly, talking mindlessly, mindlessly watching tv…before I knew it I looked up and I was 29 years old, 50 pounds heavier than I was on the day I was married, my house was a disaster, my marriage was falling apart, and I was unhappy. I looked around and wondered “how did I get here?” My answer? “It just kind of happened.” That seemed like my answer to everything. And it was true. Because I didn’t pay attention to what was going on in my life-to what I was feeling, to what I was doing, to what I was saying-little problems were able to compile themselves into bigger and bigger problems. Mindlessly drifting your way through life is easy, it takes no effort…but there is also no reward. You aren’t able to truly take responsibility for any of your actions, good or bad, because you aren’t putting any thought into them, however, you still receive the consequences and when you have put no effort into life the consequences are never good!

So, how does one live a life of intention? I have no idea. I think it starts with self-awareness. Being aware of how you feel in different situations. We all respond subconsciously with emotions in various situations. You may not realize it, but everything affects you. Think back, how did you feel the last time you saw an older couple holding hands? How about when you heard a child yelled at by a parent at the store? What about when the weather man says that a tornado has been spotted? If we can recognize our reflexive reactions then we can begin to control them and then we are able to be aware and take control of our subsequent actions. It takes work and it is not easy, but it allows us to take the first steps to intentional living.

This year I intend (lol) to learn about this thing called intentional living. If I can focus on why I feel the way I do and on having intentional reactions to the situations I find myself in the chances are that I will find myself successful and fullfilled. At very least I will be able to own my choices, to be responsible for my actions.

It should be an interesting year :)