Leap Day

So, it's leap day. I've never really thought about leap day being that big of a deal, but I figured that since it only comes along once every 4 years I don't want to miss the opportunity to blog on this day.

I like leap years. You get the summer olympics


Presidential Elections


and...ummm....those cool people who are born on February 29th


I think from this year forward leap years will always remind me of great change. At least this one is going to be a year of great change. Anyone up for an adventure? I know I am. Bring it on.

Monday Musings

Two days ago my house was put up for sale. This hit me like a ton of bricks. Putting the house up for sale brought me to one of my most panicky moments so far in this process. Things became very real. Then my mom came to town. I love how Moms make everything better. She was only here for about 17 hours (including sleep), but I'm so thankful that I got to see her for that time. I realized yesterday that I have rarely had my faith tested for material things. I have gone through some tough stuff that I have had to lean on my faith to survive. I have made choices, both good and bad, that have made me lean on God and trust him, but never for material things. I have to now. I have to trust him that my house will sell at exactly the right time. That opportunities will open up at the right locations at the right time and that every thing will fall into place exactly as it's supposed to. That is not something that is easy to believe. But I know that it will. I have more faith right now than I have ever had, now I just have to keep believing no matter what my reality starts to look like. I'll get there. Me and God :)

The 90s

The 90s. The greatest decade of my life! Ages 8-18, I really loved the 90s. Blackwatch Plaid, Boy Bands, TGIF, Grunge, Leonardo DiCaprio, JTT, Bop Magazine, Pop Up Videos, AOL Chat Rooms...I could go on all day! But I won't. Instead I will just link you to this awesome page of 48 pictures that capture the 90s. It made me smile, I hope that you smile too! Have a great Wednesday!

Happy Tuesday

I look outside and it is cloudy and gray and nasty out. It's a day that would usually make me down and cranky and just plain sad, feelings that are pretty easy to come by these days. But I'm not sad. I'm actually (dare I say it?) Happy. It's weird being happy. I feel like I'm not allowed to feel that way, that I'm supposed to be sad, I'm supposed to be upset, I'm supposed to be in tears...says who? I woke up this morning to a new day, a day that God made and He saw fit to include me in it :) I feel like lately I am learning and growing and going through so much, so fast and sometimes I get overwhelmed and I'm not sure how I'm "supposed" to feel. Well, I may not understand it, but today I am going to embrace my happiness.

Psalm 118:24 "This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

I hope you have a happy day too!

Thankful Thursday

So, not all of my alliterative titles have stuck around, but I really like Thankful Thursday. It's too easy to look around and only see the bad. I really enjoy taking the time to find a few things to be thankful about. Being thankful gives me a whole new perspective on my situation and takes my focus off of myself and puts it on the positive that is going on around me. So, what am I thankful for today?

1. Prayer. I am currently involved in a Ladies Bible Study where we are studying Stormie O'Martian's Power of a Praying Woman. It's really good so far. I am so thankful that God has provided a way for Him to be my friend, my Father, my comforter, my provider. He has given me a way to come to Him, to talk to Him, to have a relationship with Him. It is overwhelming to me that the God who created and runs this entire universe wants me to talk to Him. I am so thankful that I am able to do that. I am also thankful for the prayers of others. As I go through these hard times I feel these prayers and knowing that there are others interceding on my behalf is amazing. This brings me to what else I am thankful for today...

2. My Friends and Family. This is what brought me to blog this morning. As I sat down at my desk I was suddenly overwhelmed as I thought about the love and support that I am receiving during this time. I don't know that I'll ever be able to express the depth my thankfulness to these amazing people who are there when I reach out to them because I know I need it and who somehow know that I need them even when I don't realize it. It is incredible to me the texts and phone calls that I get at exactly the necessary times. I am so thankful to the ones that are there when I need to laugh, cry, talk, pray, or just need a hug. Maybe it's cheesy, but I feel like this web of support has been crafted by God as a way of telling me that I am loved and I am not alone. Thank you to all of these people for being there...you truly are being used by God!

My heart is bursting this morning to look at what God is doing in me even through this trial. Today really is a very thankful day.

V-Day

So, remember HERE when I said that I love hearts and flowers and romance? Can I change my mind? Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, my first Valentine's Day without a Valentine in 8 years...a day that I never thought would happen. Not that Terry and I ever did anything big for Valentine's day, more often than not we didn't do much at all, but it was still having someone there that loved you whether it was February 14th or September 14th or any day in between. Tomorrow is just another reminder of everything that I have lost and I don't know how to handle that. I miss being loved, being held, being romanced. I hate that every time I turn around I am being shown something that I don't have...and may never have...an anniversary, an engagement, people in love, newlyweds, families. It breaks my heart.

I wish that when I blogged I would magically have the answers to my problems. That I could write about what is hurting me or making me sad and then have some profound solution that fixes everything. I don't. If you do feel free to share :)

Musings

So, after a crappy week I get up this morning so excited that it's Friday! I get ready, I get Riley ready and we go out to the car to see that the dome light had been left on all night and lo and behold the car wouldn't start :( So much for Happy Friday. I called Terry, but he couldn't come help so I was stuck facing my first big issue on my own. Granted, a dead car battery is not exactly a huge crisis, but for me, this morning, it might as well have been the end of the world. See, I'm used to having someone there that I can rely on, someone who can fix everything for me, that can tell me how to deal with stuff. I don't have that anymore and realizing that this morning was devastating. I remembered that I have roadside assistance on my car insurance so I called them and 30 minutes later I had a running car. Like I said, not a major crisis, but it was enough to make my heart break just a little bit more. I'm realizing day by day just how hard this future is. How much is going to change. I officially hate it. I'm working on acceptance, but it's slow in coming. I feel a little lost today. But, I'm going to go home after work, get pretty and go out and have some fun. I'll find center, I just haven't found it yet.

I will be buying one of these though


Here's to better days!

Three Things Thursday

1. In last week's Thankful Thursday blog I said that I was thankful for the sunshine (even though I wasn't getting any) during a cold and rainy week. This week has been gorgeously, unseasonably warm and sunshiny...coincidence? I think not.

2. "Don't let your happiness depend on something you may lose."-C.S. Lewis. I adore C.S. Lewis. This quote really spoke to me this week. It made me realize that the only way I am going to be happy is to find it within myself and with my relationship with God, everything else is unstable in comparison.

3. :( Despite the beautiful weather and the self-realization I am sad today. Just one of those days I guess.