Anxious

I have opened a new blog post about 70 bajillion times in the last few days. I just can't seem to get my thoughts straight. They are kind of all over the place. The thing is, nothing is different. Nothing has changed. A few noteworthy things have happened over the last week or so, but nothing that should be throwing me so much. My thoughts are everywhere, my mind is always racing, and I am anxious...and I don't know why. So, let's write this jumble down and see where it takes us.

I moving!! In this post I talked about the decision I was faced with about possibly moving to Pittsburgh, PA. After a lot of talking and prayer and anxiety over trying to make everyone happy (which is impossible, btw) I decided to do it. It's scary. I will be moving on December 27 (4 weeks from today) and as bittersweet as this move is, I am ready. I gave my boss my notice of resignation last week. If you know me at all you know that I hate to disappoint people and I hate when people are mad at me. Giving my boss my notice was causing me a lot of stress, but she took it well. I'm sad to leave my job. I love working for the Y and will miss it a lot.

Thanksgiving. Last week was Thanksgiving. I usually love holidays, but this year...well, it's been a little rough. This year was the first time in 8 years that I didn't spend Thanksgiving with Riley. I felt like a piece of my heart was missing...well, it kind of was. Riley left last Wednesday to drive down to Florida with his grandparents to spend Thanksgiving with his dad. I woke up very early Thanksgiving morning and volunteered at the Y for the Turkey Day Family Fun Run and then went home and got ready and had lunch with my sister and brother-in-law and his family. I spent the evening playing board games and eating dessert with one of my best friends and her family and wrapped up the night with a cold beer and a basketball game. It was a great day. Wonderful people, delicious food, football, lots of kids running around that I was in no way responsible for...but I missed my baby and I missed what Thanksgiving used to be. I suppose it's all in finding the new normal. Riley came back on Sunday and spent a good 30 minutes cuddled up in my lap telling me about his trip and that he missed me and giving me random hugs and kisses. That felt more normal.

Not much else is going on. Like I said, not a lot has changed. I did clinch playoff spots in both of my fantasy football leagues. That was my goal for the season so I'm happy. I just need to shake off this anxiety and settle into these last 4 weeks in Kentucky and savor every moment. I'll work on that.