Living

So, once again I've been on a bit of a blogging hiatus. But, here I am. I have people ask me all the time "How are you?" Granted, this is a pretty common question in general, but I feel that, in my case, it's often a loaded question. People know what I've been through. They know what I've been dealing with for the past 10 months (has it really been that long?!). Most of the time my answer is "Good! :)" because when I'm around people that is generally how I am doing. But lately I feel like I am just surviving. I'm getting through life, but I'm not really living it.

I know why. I'm not living life because I don't want to face life. I've had some major decisions hanging over my head...decisions that I have to make very soon, decisions that I don't want to make. I have some things that I have to sort out, things I have to figure out how to do on my own. I've started dating a little so I've had to figure out how that works. It's hard!

I had a life that I was comfortable in. A life that I knew how to live. I knew what I was doing. I knew where I was going. It was, for the most part, under control...or so I thought. But, looking back I realize that I was just surviving in that life too. It was familiar so it wasn't scary like this stage is, but it still wasn't living.

At church on Sunday the sermon was on "The Good Life." It was about what is a good life...basically it's a life surrendered to God. Doing what He wants you to do rather than just what you want. It was a timely message and one that I needed to hear.

I turn 30 next week and I want to be able to put the past behind me and start a new decade of living!