Why? That word has been my nemesis lately.
Being a parent, I hear the word why? a lot. At first it was "Why is that bird sitting on that tree branch?" "Why do we have a red car?" "Why did this booger come out of my nose?" These why's were cute but hard to answer and I hoped that it was only a phase.
These days the why's are filled with the attitude of a mini-teenager and I shudder to think that he is only 8 years old. "Riley, go get in the car." "Why?" "Riley, turn off the tv." "Why?" "No, Riley, you can not go play at your friend's house." "Why?" There it is after every direction, after every answer to a request...why? I find myself using the answer that I never thought I would: "Because I said so." I really don't like that answer, but I also don't feel the need to explain myself to my 8-year-old son at every turn.
Sometimes the why's lose their attitude and I'm left looking at a broken-hearted, little boy with the same questions that I have. "Why did you and Daddy get divorced?" "Why did Daddy move to Florida before we did?" "Why are we not a family anymore?" I have no answers. I muddle through the best I can and I hope that I'm not screwing him up too badly, but there's no explanation that is sufficient. Why? Because I have the same questions.
I find myself going to my heavenly Father with all of my why's "Why did my marriage have to end?" "Why did it have to end the way it did?" "Why did he find someone to take my place?" "Why can't I stop loving him?" "Why can't I be in Florida right now?" "Why does it hurt so much?" I don't have the answers...but I do. Proverbs 3:5-6; Isaiah 40:31; James 1:2-5; 2 Corinthians 12:9; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Jeremiah 29:11....I could go on and on. I may not know the exact reasons. I may not know what the plan looks like. I may not know how the story ends...heck, I don't even know how the next chapter begins. I don't need to know. I know that God loves me with an unfailing love and that He works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. I know that I can endure it all "because He said so."
I have no doubt that my days of hearing (and asking) why are far from over. In fact, I'm sure they are only going to get tougher "Why does the Pythagorean Theorem work every time?" "Why does E=MC^2?" "Why does God allow bad things to happen?" I know that I won't always have the answers, but hopefully I can raise a son that knows who to turn to when life doesn't make sense and you just want to ask "Why?"