Thursday, March 15, 2012

Old Habits

Okay, So last year I worked really, really hard and lost 49 pounds (that stupid 50th pound alluded me!). Then the holidays hit and I was up about 5 pounds or so and then I learned that I could eat pretty much how I wanted to and exercise minimally and stay where I was, fluctuating between 49 and 45 pounds lost. I became really comfortable with that. I knew that I wanted to lose more weight, but where I was was easy. It took no effort. It was comfortable. Well, as life has continued to change and become more and more uncertain and more and more painful I began to fall into the old habit of turning to food for comfort. Food doesn't ever let you down. Food is always there. Food makes me happy. Holy emotional eater!!! I stopped stepping on the scale because I was scared of what I was going to see. I finally did yesterday. It's not as bad as I thought it would be, but that number has started to creep back up and I'm hovering around 41 pounds lost. It's still not "that bad," but I worked hard for those 8 pounds that I just added back on to my body and now I have to work hard to take them back off! I'm ready though. I'm ready to count my calories, to hit the gym, to take off those 8 pounds and so much more. I'm ready to reach for my goals. Why? Because I'm worth it. Because I deserve to be happy with my body and to feel good about the way that I look. I don't have some massive workout plan that I'm going to follow and stick with and feel like crap if I miss a workout. I'm just going to eat a little less and move a little more. I may join karate again. Maybe I'll start going to classes at the gym. I have a resolution to reach my goal weight by my 30th birthday which would mean losing 44 pounds in the next 145 days. That's a tall order. But, if I don't get there by my birthday I don't get there by my birthday. I just want to keep going the right direction. I don't want to stay the same. I don't want to be comfortable. Comfortable is what got me fat and unhappy in the first place! So, I started yesterday. I walked 3 1/2 miles and spent 2 hours at the gym sweatin' it up.
Uploaded from the Photobucket iPhone App
According to my FitBit I had over 30,000 steps which was equal to over 18 miles! That's a good start! Every day won't be like that, but yesterday was a good one. I don't want to turn to food for comfort anymore. I want to exercise or call a friend or do something productive instead. Small changes. Creating new habits to replace the old. I'll get there.


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